Abuse, Therapy, and How to Get Help with Dr. Natalie Jones
Today, Dr. Natalie Jones tells her compelling account of abuse and shares her incredible work with both victims and abusers. According to The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have been victims of [some form of] physical violence by an intimate partner within their lifetime. (see more details here: https://ncadv.org/statistics)
We also talk about differences with minority care, and why it’s important to find the therapist that you feel comfortable and who understands where you’re coming from. It’s definitely time to be having open conversations about what different women are dealing with!
BIO: Dr. Natalie Jones, PsyD., LPCC is an Licensed professional clinical counselor and a post doctoral psychologist. She currently has a private practice called Lifetime Counseling and Consulting in Oakland, CA where she specializes in working with women who have been in emotionally and psychologically abusive relationships with narcissists, as well as with individuals who were previously incarcerated for various crimes.
Dr. Jones also works for the California Dept of Corrections and specializes in providing individual/group counseling and assessments to prison inmates who have committed various offenses, with a specialization in working with sex offenders.
Dr. Jones also has a podcast called A Date With Darkness Podcast, which specializes in providing education and tips from healing from narcissistic relationships.
Dr. Jones received her masters in clinical counseling psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology in Chicago, IL, and her doctorate in clinical psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology in San Francisco, CA. Dr. Jones has also written blogs for the Mind Journal and PsychCentral.
A few things we talked about:
- Many abusers were in an abusive situation in the past.
- If you grow up thinking abusive things are normal in a relationship, you might not recognize it as abusive later.
- It’s a good idea to see a therapist if you think you might be in this situation.
- Abuse, toxicity, or dysfunctionalism can show up in relationships with employers, friends, food, or money. It’s not typically a linear thing.
- A tell-tale sign is that issues will come up in relationships with your own children.
- Be mindful – mindfulness means being aware. Notice how you’re feeling in specific situations and with specific people. Know what causes you to feel and act certain ways.
- Just like diet and exercise, mental health is just as important.
Therapy is like a mental laxative. - Don’t wait until it gets all bad to go to therapy. Have the systems in place to help keep you grounded and supported.
Minority mental health can be different in ways non-minority people don’t understand:
- Don’t be afraid to seek help when you first feel like you need it.
- A lot of minority cultures feel that they don’t need therapy unless they’re “crazy.”
- Dr. Natalie Jones sees many minority people in her practice after they’ve hit “crisis mode.”
- People want to see someone who looks like them and thinks like them as a therapist, and they can be difficult to find. People need to find someone who understands their cultural differances.
Signs of abuse to watch for:
- If the people around you are concerned about you and the way you’re being treated, listen. They want to see you succeed and be happy.
- If there are things going on behind closed doors that you lie about or fake it, that’s a sign of something wrong.
- Be aware of secrecy.
- People who are in happy and healthy relationships don’t have to fake it, if you’re faking what things are really like at home, that’s a sign.
- Abuse works by isolating you away from people who care about you.
- If you’re worried about your partner and that’s it, or you’re treating your partner better than you’re treating yourself, those can be red flags.
- Inability talk about problems like sex or finances with your partner and be heard.
- If your partner is saying things like, “they only hit me once,” or “they only throw things at me.” Minimizing what they do.
- Being abused means you might not be in a rational state of mind.
- Getting help can help you stop being dismissive and work on being healthy.
Abuse doesn’t have to be physical, it can be:
Psychological
Sexual
Mental
Verbal
Emotional
Financial
Technological (watching and monitoring you)
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Dr. Jones’ personal story is at 19:30. She is amazingly open and honest about her own personal struggles and how she decided to do the work she does now.
Dr. Natalie Jones’ Superpower: She is a human lie detector. She can tell if someone is lying or conning within seconds.
You can find Dr. Jones:
https://www.drnataliejones.com
https://www.adatewithdarkness.com.
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.nataliejones/
Instagram 2: https://www.instagram.com/adatewithdarknesspodcast/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drnataliejones/
Facebook 2: https://www.facebook.com/adatewithdarkness/
Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/196036654267594/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Dr_NatalieJones
Twitter 2: https://twitter.com/ADateWDarkness
This episode is so important to me because I personally know of several women who have mental or physical health issues who stay in abusive relationships because they believe they can’t go anywhere else due to their physical or mental health.
If you or someone you love is in this, or any abusive situation, please get help.
You are loved,
Jen
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Question or comment? Send an e-mail to jen@thesickmomsguide.com
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Thank you Dr. Jones for joining me this week!
Our music is “A New Day,” by Scott Holmes